Happy Birthday Camden

At 37 weeks I started experiencing prodromal labor or false labor. It really played with my mind! It would last pretty much off and on all day and all night but never intensified and remained pretty sporadic. It definitely didn't help with the "any day now" mentality that is hard not to get trapped in after 36 weeks. But anyone who knows me would agree... I'm a planner. We had set an induction date for 39 weeks, my parents had their plane tickets booked, and I had a to-do list a mile long. So even though the idea of my discomfort coming to an end a little early was very appealing I was definitely okay with waiting until 39 weeks to meet our little guy. With Rae I was induced. I loved the predictability of the situation (my parents were already in town, my bag was packed, I bought donuts for my nurses, went out to dinner with our family the night before, and my house was perfectly clean- ready for a newborn). I remember telling Bradyn that I did feel like I missed out on the unknown and exciting experience of timing contractions, laboring at home, and Bradyn speeding to the hospital. But not enough to not to cancel the induction date haha.

When I hit 38 weeks I actually started feeling pretty good again. I was sleeping through the night for the first time in months, my pelvic pain was a lot less, and the prodromal labor stopped. I was looking forward to the last few days with Rae as an only child, crossing the last few things off my list, and cleaning my house. Monday January 15 Bradyn didn't have school. I took advantage of him being home to get some serious cleaning done. Basically all those weird "nesting" cleaning things that don't really matter but bug you when you are 38 weeks pregnant. Like the dust bunnies accumulating on the ceiling fans and under our beds. My shark vacuum and I spent a good part of the afternoon together as I vacuumed the heck out of my house. Then I decided to let dad have some one-on-one with Rae as I headed to the store to stock up on groceries and household essentials. After pushing my heavy cart through the store for 30 minutes I started to experience what I thought was prodromal labor again. I'd gotten pretty good at ignoring at it at this point. I got home and Rae was already in bed. Bradyn had to run a few errands of his own so I took advantage of the quiet house and took a bath (this had become a nightly ritual for weeks now).

At 9:30 pm I noticed the "prodromal labor" was starting to intensify but I was still trying to ignore it. Bradyn got home and by 10:00 pm I was in a lot of pain but still not convinced I was labor. Everyone says you'll know when you are having contractions but it wasn't at all how I thought it would be. I was trying to time the contractions and they were coming 2 minutes apart but at different intensities. So I told myself it was still prodromal labor. At 10:15 I told Bradyn he should probably start packing our bags (which was on the to-do list but I was saving it for tomorrow... oops). I figured I would be able to help between contractions. I had luckily made a list the week before but lets just say I was definitely more in the way than I was helping. I was pacing around our room like a crazy person. It took me about 20 minutes to just get myself dressed because of all the contractions. By 10:45 pm we were headed to the hospital. I had two fears as we drove to the hospital- both on opposite sides of the spectrum. On one end I was worried they would tell me I was just experiencing gas pain and on the other I was afraid they would tell me I was a 10 and I wouldn't have time for my precious epidural. We had to check-in through the ER so it wasn't until about 11:30 before we were up to Labor and Delivery. They checked my cervix and I was at 5 and my membranes were bulging. Perfect... right in the middle. Definitely not gas pain and still time for an epidural... yay!

The anesthesiologist was a busy guy that night and I had to wait about an hour for him to come in. Every new person who walked into my room for that hour I was so disappointed to find out they weren't the anesthesiologist lol. By 12:30 I got my epidural I was a 7 and they decided to call my doctor (he is awesome and delivers all of his patients' babies... even if its 1 am).

When my doctor arrived he confirmed I was a 10 but the amniotic sac was keeping the baby's head too high so he broke my water. 20 minutes later the resident came in and asked if I was feeling any pressure or urge to push. I wasn't but asked him to check anyway. Boom there was the head! They had me do one practice push and then gowned up. I pushed through 3 contractions and at 1:34 am on Tuesday January 16 we got to meet our sweet little Camden.

He weighed 6 lbs 4 oz and was 20 inches long

<OVER-SHARE WARNING> I delivered at a teaching hospital so in the room was my doctor, the resident (who was the one to actually deliver the baby) and a med student. Also there was my nurse, a nurse for Camden, and a nurse being trained. It was a full room. My doctor let the resident stitch up my tear. He did a great job but it took a really long time. As I was sitting there spread eagle admiring my cute little Cam I heard a weird noise. It was a sound I recognized but couldn't quite figure out what it was. My doctor looked up and said "don't worry about that- its not your fault- its the epidural making you do that". Do what? What did I just do? Then I realized. I had just farted on the poor resident as he was stitching me up. (To that poor resident out there... I am sorry). I've always been worried about pooping while pushing (which has never happened) but at least that is a little more discrete while there is the excitement and hustle and bustle around you as you push. I farted in a room full of people when it was pretty much silent. It was pretty embarrassing, It honestly just makes me worried for future births. I'm not longer worried about pooping on the table. I worried about farting uncontrollably. Eek.

Look at that cute little face

Rae was a little nervous about meeting her new baby brother.

The best part of having a baby brother is mom's new fun water cup and popping out his binky.

My parents spoiled me by bringing me my favorite meal from back in Utah... Cafe Rio of course mmmm!

Going home! 

My Experience with Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex

Hospital Snuggles

Like most new moms I had big plans for breastfeeding with my first. With my PCOS I knew that I could possibly struggle with my milk supply. I read a lot and talked to all my mom friends. I was ready! I didn't even bother ordering my breast pump. At the hospital the little gal latched like a champ and although I hated the cramps and my sore nipples I was excited that it seemed to be "working" and I was enjoying all my "new mom experiences".

Despite feeding R every two hours she was steadily losing weight and boarder-line jaundice. My milk still hadn't come in so I ordered my pump and sent my mom and husband to the store to get a hand pump to hopefully encourage my milk to come in. After a struggle of nursing and pumping for a few weeks I met with a lactation consultant. We discovered that after 30 minutes of a great latch and what seemed like a great nursing session she was only getting 1/2 oz of breast milk (I was producing more than that she just couldn't get it out). Around this same time I noticed that my feelings and emotions towards breastfeeding had started changing. Instead of feeling like I was bonding I would feel dread. I would try to nurse R and get this horrible feeling of grief, depression, and guilt. It was overwhelming. I would have to hand R off to daddy and go and hide in the other room until it passed. I thought it was the disappointment of breastfeeding. At this point I decided that I would exclusively pump.

Chug it!

But the feeling continued. Every time I hooked up to my pump I would get the terrible feeling again. It happened when I showered, when she would cry, and spontaneously throughout the day. It would hit me like a ton of bricks, last for 30 seconds- 2 minutes, and then be gone. That doesn't sound like that big of deal but when its happening multiple times a day it really starts to take a toll. I started tracking the feelings and realized it happened whenever my milk came in. I tried talking about it with my husband but it was hard to explain myself. I thought it was PPD. One day as I sat hooked up to my pump I googled "I feel homesick every time my milk comes in". I found this website https://www.d-mer.org/. It was called disphoric milk ejection reflex. I could not believe what I was reading. For the first time I had a name for what I was feeling and an explanation for why it was happening. 

Did it help? Maybe a little. It made me feel less crazy. And I could now explain what I was feeling to my family and friends. I tried talking to my doctor and since I was already struggling with my milk supply we decided against and anxiety or depression meds. R was 4 weeks and it was my goal to get her to 6 months. I was pumping 10 times a day at this point. I could get about 1-2 oz when I pumped. I tried power pumping and fenugreek and oatmeal and 100 other things I read online that might help. Eventually I decided to decrease my pumping to 8 times a day and then 5 times a day. I maintained this for 2 months. Then from 5-6 months I pumped only 2x a day. I was still only pumping 1-2 oz at a time so we were using formula and supplementing with breast milk ;) Pumping 2 x a day was more tolerable because by then my milk wouldn't spontaneously come in.

I stopped pumping the day before we went on a
a trip to visit family. It was nice not to bring
my pump! 

When I finally stopped pumping at 6 months I thought I would be sad. But packing up my pump felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt transformed over night. I was a better mom, a better wife, and a better me. I wasn't strapped to a pump and I wasn't experiencing this dopamine drop. I was so much more stable and that was a relief for everyone involved. 

So whats my point in sharing all this? First parenthood is H.A.R.D. And I am constantly amazed with how much harder we make it on ourselves. My baby would have been fine if I stopped pumping months before I did. I had a strong support system and they all disagreed with the torture I was putting myself through. So why did I do it? Because I felt like a bad mom. No one was shaming me. No one was pressuring me. I had tuned out the rest of the world months back. It was all me! So if you find yourself in a similar position... first remember this: you are a good momma. Second, sit back and think about why you are doing what you are doing and the impact it has on your life and on your family. 

For me personally I was worried about SIDS. I knew that for whatever reason breastfeeding reduced the risk of SIDS. I wanted to protect her. But I was sleep deprived, unhappy, and unnecessarily hormonal. I didn't think this mattered as long as she got her 1-2 oz of breast milk a day. When I told my doctor this she actually laughed. She explained to me all the factors that go into reducing the risk of SIDS and gave me the best pep talk about cutting myself some slack. That's when I realized that I was really doing all of this as a sense of control. Its a flaw in my personality that can be traced back to my childhood but I need control and order in my life and I can become a little cray because of it. SIDS seemed like a scary and unpredictable thing that was always in the back of mind and so because of it I forced control and predictability in every other aspect of the situation.  I realized that she would actually be better off with a well rested, happy, stable momma than with all the breast milk in the world. So we said bye-bye to the pump. 

I've been thinking about my experience for a few weeks now and it's one of the reasons I've decided to finally write it down. We are currently expecting our second kiddo and the thought of breastfeeding is terrifying. Postpartum emotions and hormones are real. And lets be honest... they can overpower your more logical thinking. I don't know what feeding this baby will look like. I do know I want to try breastfeeding again because I do know it's important. I want to write this all down so I can remind myself that all though breastfeeding is important, maybe it's not the MOST important thing. I can't tell you what is the most important thing because I think that differs from parent to parent but for me I want a happy, fed baby and I wouldn't mind being happy myself. So dear future hormonal, sleep deprived, overwhelmed self... cut yourself some slack!

1/28/18- Update: We are almost 2 weeks in with baby#2. Breastfeeding at the hospital seemed to be going well. He would latch for 30 minutes every couple hours but he was losing weight too fast. He wasn't having any wet or dirty diapers. We "experimented" and gave him milk using a doppler and within an hour he had a wet diaper. I noticed I only heard him swallow 2-3 times during a 20 min feeding. He started showing signs of frustration (Like Rae did) with latching and sucking for a few seconds and pulling off and fussing. So we are back to pumping and bottles. At first I was disappointed because I really wanted breastfeeding to work. But honestly I'm pro at pumping. I've found a way to make it work with our schedule and its all I really know. I don't love all the bottle and pump-parts piled up to be washed but oh well. I am experiencing D-MER again but its not as bad this time. I think because I was expecting it so I wasn't surprised. Exclusively pumping is hard. Its time consuming and there are lots of things to wash. To save my sanity I set up some ground rules:
1. I only pump for 10 min. I used to pump for up to 45 min trying to get every last drop out and to try increase my supply. Ain't nobody got time for that. ESPECIALLY with a toddler and a newborn. I started using these: https://www.lansinoh.com/lansinohr-therapearlr-3-in-1-breast-therapy and they are amazing. My husband got them for me as my milk came in and I was engorged but then I read they can help with your milk let down with pumping. It easily shaves off a couple minutes off my pumping time and I also pump a little bit more when I use them. They are awesome to help with clogged ducts which is normal with pumping. So if you find yourself pumping... especially exclusively pumping then I highly recommend them!
2. I'm not trying to increase my milk supply. With Rae I went a little crazy about this and it caused a lot of stress and anxiety and lots and lots of feelings of disappointment and defeat. So I decided this time around I'm not even going to worry about it. I try not to even look at exactly how much I pump or I try to just be elated with the little that I get. So far I'm able to keep up with him and have a little left over at the end of the day so we are feeling pretty good.
3. Im not pumping around the clock. This is kinda a big no-no for exclusively pumping- especially in the early days when your supply is getting established. With Rae I pumped every 2.5 hours around the clock. Thats 10 times a day/night. I would pump for 20-30 min and sometimes longer. That is a long time to be strapped to a pump and don't forget... you still have to actually feed that baby the milk. So add another 20-30 min. Even though I felt like all I did was feed my baby it was okay because it was just the two of us so who cares if we just watched Netflix and pumped all day. But there is no way my spunky toddler would put up with me pumping all day. We would all lose our minds. So I pump once at night, before R wakes up, at the beginning of R's nap and before I get her up from the nap, once after dinner when dad is home, and once before bed. 6 times a day is way more manageable. I would like to eventually drop the night time pumping once he is sleeping through the night and then I think this is a schedule I could easily maintain.

With R we had a mini fridge in our room. It was awesome because I would store my pump parts (in between washings) and milk in there. Since my pump was set up in our room it was really nice to have everything in one place. We don't have the space for it this time so I have to run CLEAR downstairs every time but I think I'll live haha. I also give my babies the milk cold. It makes it so nice especially if you are pumping a few feedings ahead of them (which I would recommend). Then you aren't trying to heat up a bottle every feeding. It also comes in handy for if you eventually switch to formula. Then you aren't trying to heat the bottle to the perfect temperature that your little one demands haha. This worked great with R and so far is going great for C. 

Our 6 Month Update

We are excited to meet our little Raelyn Grace in just a few months!

6 months... for the last few weeks when people would ask how far I was I would answer 6 months. Sure- it was an exaggeration but it is such a huge milestone for me and it couldn't come soon enough. Well now I can officially say I am 6 months. I guess I'll probably start rounding up to 7 months since I'm practically there. ;)

The last few months have seemed to crawl by and fly by. It's been filled with anxiety, prayers, daily heartbeat checks, beautiful ultrasounds, amazing little baby kicks, and the start of a baby bump!

 

With every milestone I reach I love this little baby more and more. But I also feel the need to protect myself from an even greater heartbreak. I remember at 20 weeks I decided enough was enough and I was going to start celebrating every second of this pregnancy. Every second gave me an opportunity to experience something I had never experienced before. I remember at my 9 week ultrasound (a big milestone for us) just seeing what looked like a little turtle wiggling its limbs. I could not take my eyes of the screen. It was so amazing. Again at 14 weeks we could see the limbs, the heart, the organs, and we could see our little girl dancing around. My 21 week ultrasound BLEW MY MIND. I could not believe the detail. The tech took us through and showed us all the organs, the different parts of the brain, and the heart. We got to watch as this little monkey swung her feet up to her head and just kinda hung out like that (I maybe drank a little too much orange juice before the appointment haha).

9 weeks

21 weeks

I started feeling kicks around 15 weeks. I was sitting at work and I could feel a little twitch in my intestine. It was really weirding me out so I mentioned this to my sister. It never even crossed my mind that it could be our baby kicking. Within the next few weeks it got stronger and stronger and by 21 weeks Bradyn got to feel her for the first time. I will never forget the look of shock on his face as he got to experience that for the first time.

My sweet mother-in-law threw me my first ever baby shower. It was so amazing and so fun to celebrate our sticky bean with our family.

As my gift to our baby girl I made her a blessing dress. The fabric is the same as the temple dress my mom made for me when I got married. 

We are surrounded by such wonderful family and friends and we are so grateful for all the prayers said in our behalf. We are so excited for the upcoming months and can't wait to start this next adventure in our life!

Flying With an Infant Part 1

When R was only 7 weeks I took her on her first flight. Before her first birthday she has been on 4 trips which consisted of 11 flights. Because of the variety of experiences each time I flew, I like to consider myself somewhat of an expert. Flying for the first time with an infant can be intimidating and overwhelming. It's hard to know what to expect and lets face it... we have all heard/witnessed the horror stories of the baby who screams the entire time.

First lets talk about packing. My first flight with R I was only going for a few days and my baby didn't require a lot of "extras" that I couldn't borrow at my destination (carseat, boppy, pack-n-play, swaddles, and I was even lucky enough to borrow my sisters breast pump). I really only packed clothes which all fit in a carry on. For my "personal item" I used my diaper bag. Here is my first piece of advice...

Only bring things you will need DURING THE FLIGHT or at the airport in your personal item. Nothing like trying to find a binky and having to dig through a million diapers and other things you really don't need on the flight. So what do you need on the flight?

• Diapers long enough to last the flight and maybe a couple extra
• A small pack of wipes
• A swaddle or blanket
• A binky (this helps their ears to pop)
• A bottle with breast milk or formula or yourself to breastfeed 
• An extra outfit (I learned this the hard way)
• Snacks and toys if the child is older 
• boppy (this one really depends on the size of your baby, the length of the flight, and if your baby is going to be sleeping or not. I found the hoppy useful from 5-9 months).
• If you are checking a bag... anything you have to have at your destination (read about our horrible experience below)

Another must is a baby carrier or wrap. This is helpful for maneuvering through the airport, through security, and at the gate. Its nice to be hands free when handling your bags and tickets. You can wear the baby through the metal detector but most airlines will have you take your baby out for take off and landing. I found this pretty inconvenient but I found with my carrier and wrap that I could keep my sleeping baby on my chest and just unbuckle or pull down the should straps and after take off buckle/wrap my baby back up for the duration of the flight.

Our next time flying dad came along so we decided to check a bag instead of having a couple of carry ons. It was a disaster. Because of the weather and season (Christmas) we got stranded during our layover in Denver. They lost our bags and no flights were leaving for at least 24 hours. We decided to rent a car and drive the remainder of the way but I only had the bare minimum in my diaper bag. I was exclusively pumping at the time and supplementing with formula. Luckily I had an entire can of formula and my hand pump otherwise things would have gotten ugly. I didn't have my meds and I barely had enough diapers. I didn't have a change of clothes for R and she ended up with a blow out which meant we had a nakey-baby. We did end up getting our bags back after a week but thats another story for another day.

My next time flying by myself with R was to visit my parents for a month while my mom recovered from surgery. This was a considerably longer trip than we had ever taken and R was now 9 months. This meant she was a little more high maintenance when it came to travel. I decided to bring my stroller and I checked a bag. It seemed like a good thing at the time but if I could do it over again I would not bring the stroller. It was hard to lug a bag and the stroller to the counter and apparently the stroller has to go on the belt through security. So I was holding a squirmy 9 month old, trying to juggle my belongings, and folding a stroller to hoist on the belt. Looking back I would have just worn her and borrowed/bought a stroller at my destination. If your baby is too big to wear then my sister used one of those foldable wagons. She plopped her kid in it and her bags and it seemed to work pretty well for her. I'm interested in any other ideas you guys might have!

Next we will talk about the actual flight! https://livingthebishopfamilydream.blogspot.com/2017/08/flying-with-infant-part-2.html

Flying With an Infant Part 2...

Last time we talked about preparing for a flight with an infant, packing, and navigating through the airport. Read about that here (https://livingthebishopfamilydream.blogspot.com/2017/08/flying-with-infant-part-1.html) Today we are going to talk about when to book the flight and surviving the actual flight.

The first time I flew with R she was only 7 weeks old. At that age babies pretty much sleep, eat, and maybe sit there for bit. So flight time really doesn't matter. They will probably both sleep and eat on the flight regardless of the time. I would try to arrange it so you aren't trying to worry about feeding the baby until you are through security if you can. The next time we flew she was 3 months old and had more of a defined schedule as far as naps go. We chose to fly later in the evening so she would sleep for most of it. We did the same thing when flying at 5 months. At 9 months I flew alone and tried to fly during her nap. It was a nightmare. She was a lot more distracted by her surroundings and i had to really fight her to go to sleep. It was overwhelming for me and even though she wasn't crying that much I was really worried about bothering the other passengers. I think at this age flying after a nap would have been a lot better. It's a lot easier to keep a kiddo entertained then try to keep and overtired baby happy. We are flying in a few months for Christmas and we will give this theory a shot.

My three sleeping loves (look closely and you'll find Koda in plaid)

Something to keep in mind is layovers. I prefer direct flights for obvious reasons but 2 of the 4 trips we've taken with Raelyn had a layover. The first trip she was 3 months and the next she was 5 months  old. She was still pretty much in the eat and sleep stage so it wasn't too bad. Now that she is almost a year the thought of a really long layover sounds terrible. Mostly because she naps so terribly when its crowded and noisy. But I think I would still take a layover if it saved me a couple hundred dollars. One miserable day of travel and then its behind you haha.

Hanging out during our layover.

Now how to survive the dreaded take off and landing. The change in altitude can be very painful on little ears. As adults we know to swallow or yawn or chew gum to help with this but its up to you to help your child pop their ears. The easiest way I've found to do this is by sucking so either a binky or eating.

By our first flight together at 7 weeks I was exclusively pumping so I had a bottle pumped for take off and landing and some formula just incase. I obviously don't have a lot of experience with breastfeeding on a plane but I would say its cramped and not a lot of privacy so if breastfeeding is iffy at all then I would have a bottle just incase.

My first flight I was really anxious about this and even tried to wake her during landing to feed her. She of course was basically in a coma and not even really sucking on her binky and she was totally fine. When we flew at 9 months she was getting over an ear infection and still did fine.

My last piece of advice is really going to differ from baby to baby. Flying can be loud and overwhelming and scary and this is when your baby's individual comforting techniques come in handy. For R she loves being worn and snuggled, she LOVES her binky, and can't live without one of those light weight cotton swaddling blankets to snuggle with. She loves being sung to and bounced. Keeping these things in mind before the flight helped boost my confidence in my ability to comfort her. And remember... worst case scenario your baby cries the entire flight and life moves on.

Waiting to take off

10 Essentials for Surviving the 4th Trimester

As I found myself nearing the end of the 3rd trimester a lot of my friends warned me about the 4th trimester. This is the period of postpartum. There are many adjustments physically and mentally. The new mom might be recovering from child birth, learning to breast feed, bonding with the newborn, experiencing hormonal changes, and learning new things. My friends told me to hang in there and know that after the 4th trimester I would start to feel like a normal person again. And they were totally right! I can't believe R is already 3 months old! We are starting to figure out a routine, she is sleeping better, I am sleeping better, my hormones are starting to sort themselves out, my body is still recovering but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The time has seriously flown by. I loved the new born stage. I miss my little potato baby but having a 3 month old is so fun! She is starting to interact and respond and it's amazing to see that little personality of hers develop. As I look back at the last 3 months there are 10 things I used on a daily basis to survive the 4th trimester. 

#1- baby carrier/wrap
This is my favorite baby product and will be my longest rant!
For me, this has been lifesaving. This allows for me to have two hands when cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, teaching in primary, eating out, going to movies (She has been to three already!), going on a walk with Koda, watching my nieces, going through the airport, or when she is cranky and wants to be held. There are many benefits to "baby wearing" besides being hands free. It helps strengthen their neck muscles and protects against flat head (This website was really interesting on flat heads http://www.candokiddo.com/news/flat-head-myths) I also found that as my hormones were sorting out postpartum I was very anxious. Wearing R really helped me through those first few weeks. (read about one babywearing helped one woman with postpartum depression http://www.scarymommy.com/babywearing-for-postpartum-depression/) I would say I probably use this baby product the most!   I have the boba wrap and the infantino baby carrier. Both I love for different reasons.
I exclusively used the boba baby wrap from birth-8 weeks. I practiced tying it before she was born and would practice by putting Koda in it (poor Koda ha ha). 

It keeps her really snug and warm. It's also super comfortable for me to wear. If I'm going to to run errands then I tie it before I leave my house so I'm not trying to do it in the parking lot. I needed help putting her in it the first couple times but now I'm pretty good at doing it on my own.
The material is stretchy and a little on the thicker side. It was perfect for my fall/winter baby but if I was having a summer baby I would probably look into the solly. I think baby wraps are less bulky than typical carriers so I felt comfortable wearing it to church with my dresses.
Starting about 8 weeks I started using the infantino more. This goes on easily and is great for when I'm going to be taking her in and out like if I'm running a bunch of errands or clothes shopping. Bradyn also likes wearing her in this more than the wrap. I find it easier to feed her a bottle in the carrier than the wrap because she can lean away from my body a little bit. Supposedly you can breast feed while they are in the wrap but we have yet to try that one. Personally I find the wrap more comfortable and supportive especially if I'm going to be walking a lot or wearing her for a long time. These are all factors I consider when choosing which one to carry her in. I honestly don't think I would be able to choose between the two. I love them both and use them both all the time. 

Early Adventures

Daddy sportin the wrap

I love keeping her in the wrap when eating out

Out on a walk

Aunt C using the Infantino carrier

No matter what carrying device you go with it's important to monitor your baby at all times. Their nose needs to be clear for breathing and not buried against your shirt or their chin tucked down to their chest. They recommend the baby be close enough to kiss the top of their head. Also carrying your child tends to be on the warmer side no matter which one you use so make sure you and your baby are dressed appropriately. (For more safety tips http://babywearinginternational.org/what-is-babywearing/safety/)

#2- Fisher Price Rock-N-Play
Before coming home from the hospital they make you watch a video about having your baby sleep flat on their back. For the fist few weeks we had her in a typical cradle next to our bed. Around 6 weeks she started to struggle with reflux. Even on medication she was really uncomfortable and couldn't sleep flat. I would listen to her choke and gag and cough until pretty soon she was crying. She LOVED sleeping propped up on her boppy.

 

There are many hazards associated with this so I would never leave her unattended. i would sit and watch a movie or something for 30 min to an hour (so I wouldnt fall asleep... see #8) after feeding her while she was propped up and then I would try to carefully move her to her cradle so she could sleep the rest of the night there. This would sometimes work but usually she would be coughing and gagging and crying again within an hour or so. I would prop her on the poppy again as she fell asleep while watching tv again (thank goodness for Netflix). This worked fine for a while but after about a week I was so exhausted.  One morning I woke up to find R propped up on her boppy pillow between me and Bradyn. Sometime in the night I must have gotten her up and put her like that but I don't remember at all. This was really alarming to me because I realized that by being so sleep deprived I was potentially putting her in dangerous situations. I felt so horrible but this led me to find the rock-n-play. I know when suffering with reflux, parents will often try having their babies sleep in car seats, strollers, or propped on Boppies. I was desperate to find a safe sleeping option so I wasn't up worried all night. The rock-n-play is set at an appropriate angle that it doesn't risk closing the baby's airway but helps with reflux. It can also lay flat if your baby doesn't need to be propped. It cuddles the baby which mimics the feeling of being held. It has a little seat belt so they don't slip down of fall out as they get more wiggly. It also has a vibration mode which R loves as she is falling asleep. It can be rocked and one version even has the ability to rock it's self. One warning is against flat head. Babies love rock-n-plays so much that it can be tempting to let them hang out all day in it. The deluxe version is suppose to be more "plush" to help with that.

Her first night in the Rock-n-play and she slept through the night!

#3- Baby sleep/feeding app

The first thing to go as a new sleep deprived mamma was my memory. I didn't matter if she ate 15 minutes ago... I couldn't remember to save my life. All the days kind of blur into one. I downloaded the app Baby Tracker and it really helped keep everything straight. You can track feeding time and type (nursing, pumped bottle, formula), sleeping, and pumping (even how much you have in the freezer. I personally used it for feedings and pumping. 

#4- Lots of pajamas

When getting ready for a newborn it was so hard not to buy a million little outfits. In reality my baby only wore pajamas for the first 6 weeks- you know... the soft snaps/zipper footie kind. (with the exception of a handful of situations like church and stuff when I put forth the effort to wrangle my newborn into layers and layers of cuteness). Pajamas are more comfortable and honestly the first few weeks are about survival... for YOU and the baby. That means simplicity. So pick up a bunch of one piece jammies and get ready for lots of cuddles. As for what size... that depends. Everyone told me to only get a few newborn things because they would grow out them within the first week. Well at 13 weeks and she is finally grew out of the newborn clothes! I didn't want to buy more new born clothes because I was afraid she would grow out of them 2 days later. I washed her 3 pairs of pajamas A LOT haha. 

#5- Swaddle

We've used a few different options for swaddling including receiving blankets, swaddling blankets, zip up swaddles, and velcro swaddles. Our current favorite is a basic velcro swaddle because she can't get out of it.  Out of laziness I've tried putting her down without a swaddle and her arms are all over the place. I hear a lot of people say their babies don't like to be swaddled. For the first few minutes of being swaddled R kinda freaks out like she is trying to rip out of it but then she calms down. So definitely give swaddling a fair shot!

#6- Breast pump (only read if you are planning on breast feeding)
Insurances now cover breast pumps! I had a lot of people tell me to make sure I ordered one through my insurance before the baby came but I kept putting it off. Mostly because I didn't see why it was important. I'm going to tell you why I really really wish I had mine at the hospital and in the first few weeks. R had an Ok latch and she woke up to eat every two hours like clock work. She would nurse for 15 minutes per side and then would fall asleep and we would start all over again in another hour or so. Even with all the time I spent feeding her she was still losing weight fast and was borderline jaundice. They still discharged us but set up an appointment with the pediatrician for a day and a half.  That night she started fighting feedings. She would latch for 20 seconds and then FREAK OUT. I would try different things like standing up and walking around, sitting in a dark room, playing white noise, skin to skin... Eventually after 20-40 minutes she would finally latch and nurse for about 10 minutes before falling asleep. We had no clue what was wrong. We thought she might have a sore in her mouth or the position of nursing was hurting her. It never occurred to me that my milk hadn't come in yet. After meeting with the pediatrician she told me to start pumping and supplementing with formula until my milk came in. Well I had ordered my pump just that day so it would be at least a week until I got it. Luckily you can rent them so don't panic if you find yourself in the same situation. After pumping for a few days my milk finally came in... about day 7-8 postpartum.  In the mean time we supplemented and she finally started gaining weight. But now she refused to latch. I would just get her in position and she would start freaking out. I think she was maybe traumatized from all the times she wasn't getting any milk. Whatever the reason was... she just preferred the bottle. Which who wouldn't want there food drizzled into their mouth vs actually having to work for it ;) haha. We met with a lactation consultant and we discovered that even after 30 minutes of nursing she had only taken about .5 oz of milk (that's including the amount that we drizzled into her mouth as she tried to nurse) So basically she wasn't as good at nursing as we originally thought and she wasn't stimulating my breasts enough to tell my milk to come in. Looking back I really wish I would have had my pump with me to use after at least a few feedings while at the hospital and I will definitely plan on using it from the beginning with baby #2. But here we are 3 months later and my pump is still by my side... we are still exclusively pumping and while I wont say its going great... we are hanging in there and there are some definite pros. If you thing you might be interested in exclusively pumping check out this website http://exclusivepumping.com/. There are many reasons women choose to exclusively pump and this website goes in the ins and outs, shares success stories, and gives a lot of tips. There are also support groups on facebook! There is so much more that I could say about exclusively pumping but I will save that for another day.

#7- Boppy
I loved the boppy at the hospital while I was nursing but now that  we aren't nursing we just threw away the boppy! Just kidding I use it 100 times a day. I love this thing. With the reflux we use it after every feeding to prop her up. She also doesn't like being flat on her stomach for tummy time so we use it to prop her up then. I also use it while I'm pumping. Confession... we have three boppies! This is a little excessive but I like having one in every room. :) 

#8- Hulu/Netflix 
I could not believe how tired I was starting from day one. Not only are you trying to recover from child birth but you only get 1 hour of sleep at a time. Especially during night time feedings I would find myself dozing off which would make feedings twice as long. Then when I started pumping I would wake up and feed R and then pump. That little routine took FOREVER and the only thing that made 2 am not seem so awful was seasons and seasons of Private Practice. I downloaded the app on my phone so I could use headphones and pick up where I left off no matter where I was at in the house. 

#9- Owlet
I love this thing! I'm sure everyone has heard of it but if you haven't its a little device that goes on their foot and monitors their oxygen and heart rate. This information can be monitored from your phone. If there are any concerning stats then an alarm will go off. I was an anxious pregnant lady so I knew I would be that much more anxious as a new mom. This was a must for us. It was an extra set of eyes so I can worry just a little less.  It doesn't replace safe sleeping conditions but is used to go over and beyond your efforts to keep your child safe.  I know a lot of people who find it excessive but I think I can credit a lot of my sanity to this little device!

#10- Oxyclean
My mother-in-law introduced me to this product when R was 4 weeks old. She had already ruined multiple outfits with her scary explosive baby poop. I couldn't find anything to take the stains out. Turns out a little oxyclean does the trick! Some of the older stains (had been washed and dried already) I soaked for a few hours/over night. If it was fresh I would put the oxyclean right on the stain. Wa-la! Stain is gone! Super easy and painless. I used to be so anxious about her wearing some of my favorite outfits waiting for the dreaded blow out. Now it ain't no thang ;)

R is almost 4 months and we are still using all these products faithfully. I can't imagine stopping anytime soon! 

3/24/2017- Update: R is 6 months. We still use oxyclean, the owlet, Hulu/netflix, lots of pajamas, boppy, and carrier/wrap (equally 50-50). We used everything on this list up until 5 months. At 5 months we transitioned from the rock-n-play to crib. At 6 months I stopped pumping. At 5 months she started wanting to face outward so I have started using the carrier more than I have in the past. I don't think Ill use the baby wrap for much longer because of this reason.

8/19/2017- Update: R is almost 1 year old. Out of all these products we still use oxyclean, the owlet, Hulu/netflix (probably will consider this a necessity forever), Pajamas (of course), and our carrier. She doesn't like the wrap because she wants to face outward. She weighs about 18 lbs and is just now starting to get a little too heavy for me. 

1/28/2018- Update R is almost 18 months and we still use oxyclean, owlet, and tons of pajamas. And she loves her word party on netflix. She also loves sleeping on her boppy. It started when she had a cold and now its a must have for bed time. 2 weeks ago we added baby #2 to the mix. I use everything on this list on a daily basis except the feeding app. I used it in the hospital because the nurses ask you about feedings and diapers so it was nice to be able to look it up. But once we got home I found I was a little more laid back than I was with baby #1. I don't obsess over how many oz and he has a pee/poop diaper after every feed so I don't feel a need to keep track. I also use the baby carrier more than the baby wrap. Its just easier to take on and off with a toddler running around and easier to switch with my husband when we are out and about.  I mostly use the wrap if I'm by myself with the baby